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Every day, thousands of love couples practice sex. Husbands with wives, unmarried guys with mistresses and prostitutes. And sometimes couples unite in quartets and practice group sex. In group sex, an odd number of people can participate, and an even number. Two friends can take turns having sex with a prostitute. Or a group of different-sex students at a picnic can arrange an orgy. Bisexuals often resort to group sex, but representatives of traditional orientation also sometimes try such "collective" intimacy.

Group sex in Russia is not at all exotic, although, perhaps, it is practiced mainly by single men who order prostitutes in the sauna. But newlyweds who have exhausted romance, too, sometimes look for new sensations and find them in this way, crossing the invisible line of sexual boundaries. Such an experiment adds spice to proven relationships, brings variety to married life.

"Foursome love" is able to generate ecstasy, emotional uplift, enliven intimate life, giving it new picturesque colors. According to psychologists, such experiments are decided by people experiencing the so-called syndrome of marital boredom. But even single, unmarried men sometimes do not mind sharing a bed with two beauties at once.

Despite the fact that group sex contradicts many religious and secular taboos, some still decide to cross the conventional line of decency, becoming on the path of shamelessness and debauchery. However, it does not always lead to the strengthening of marital relations – on the contrary, it can lead to the dissolution of the marriage union. Unwillingness to have sex and unwillingness to engage in sexual activity can be signs of low self-esteem, relationship problems, or mental blockages that may not even be suspected. What to do? How to deal with the aversion to sex?

1. Reasons for lack of desire
The reasons for sexual stagnation can be many, because each person is individual. For some, the lack of desire for sexual intercourse hides a lack of attraction or simply a lack of desire to have sex with your partner, because problems in the bedroom are the tip of the iceberg of other problems in the relationship.
For other people, a decrease in sexual interest is associated with problems of self-esteem and attractiveness. If life does not go according to the planned scenario, there is no comfort when living together, this also leaves its mark on the libido. Finally, it happens that the slogan "no desire for sex" hides the lack of pleasure from intimate contacts. If the loss of interest in sex is a new phenomenon, it may be worth seeking professional help.

2. Many years in a relationship
As the infatuation passes, the sex becomes less exciting. Mutual habit makes partners less attractive to each other over time, even if the overall relationship remains very good. What can I do? To make sex less monotonous and therefore more attractive, it's a good idea to make some changes to the bedroom. It doesn't have to be a revolution, for example, a new context, a little imagination, new poses are enough.

3. Blocking
Sometimes there are situations when one partner likes a certain type of sex, and the other is categorically against it. Most often, this occurs when one of them is not experienced enough. In this case, it is enough just to talk honestly with your significant other and tell them about your fears and experiences. Perhaps, with the support of a partner, it will be possible to cope with them. Of course, the situation is quite different when the inhibition is associated with a previous traumatic experience, for example, with seduction. In this case, it is worth resorting to the help of a therapist.

4.Complexes
Feeling attractive is a matter of inner balance. On the one hand, the media creates unreal canons of beauty, on the other - the epidemic of obesity is getting worse. However, it is worth remembering that everyone can change, there would be a desire.
If you are not satisfied with the fact of having excess weight, you need to think about how you can solve this problem without going to extremes. A positive attitude to your own body does not mean that you need to put up with extra pounds. You can turn your attention to a healthy diet and increase physical activity. The movement makes the body become better, it begins to like it again, thanks to this vital energy and appetite for sex grow.
In situations where complexes about appearance arise because of the words of a partner, the best medicine can be to enter into a new relationship in which a new companion will accept the person as he is with all his shortcomings, thereby fueling his confidence in his attractiveness. If this is not possible, for example, a bad experience prevents you from starting a new relationship, you should probably seek help from a specialist who will help you cope with a toxic past.

5. Vaginal orgasm
The myth of the vaginal orgasm and its superiority over all other types of orgasm is still alive. Meanwhile, there is only one orgasm, only the ways to achieve it differ. Women achieve pleasure in different ways: stimulating the clitoris and the inside of the vagina, caressing the breasts, and sometimes even just fantasizing. Many people admit that they experience orgasms more strongly during direct intercourse, but the reason for this is probably not so much in the form of stimulation as in the feeling of intimacy and full connection with the partner during penetration. Most women can also learn to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse over time. In the meantime, it requires trust, getting used to sex, and giving up the control that blocks the sensations. Sometimes, to achieve a bright orgasm, it is enough just to change the position.

6. Sex with the appearance of children
Very often, with the advent of children, intimate life comes to naught. This is due to the fact that it is sometimes difficult to combine several roles in life at once: mother/father, partner, lover. All these roles are equally important! But do not forget about yourself. To maintain a sexual relationship with a partner, from time to time it is necessary to allocate time only for two.
Another reason for the lack of desire with the appearance of children may be that in the parental home, sex was discussed from the position of something shameful and was used only for reproductive purposes. Here it is important to understand that following family beliefs is not necessary, and a good sex life is the key to a harmonious relationship.

7. Treason
A common reason for a decrease in attraction to a partner is the betrayal of one of them. It is even possible that the devoted party first decided to forgive for the sake of the children or out of a sense of fear of loneliness, but over time comes the realization that perhaps forgiveness was a mistake and there is a fear of repetition? This is especially acute if the betrayed partner first begged for forgiveness, and then began to behave as if nothing had happened. It is quite natural that as a result of this, the sense of security and trust in the partner has greatly decreased or even disappeared altogether. Here it is very important to understand whether there are forces to forgive and move on, or it is better to leave the relationship in the past, since without forgiveness it will be difficult to build a common future.

8. PTSD
Problems with desire can also be experienced by people who have received a sad experience in previous relationships, and now have a panic fear of creating new ones. This is the so-called post-traumatic syndrome. In this case, you should convince yourself that the new relationship is not as scary and not as dangerous as the previous one. If you can't do it yourself, you can contact a psychotherapist.

9. "Sex only after marriage"
People who are brought up in religious families, where it is accepted that sex can only be after marriage, also have a block on sexual relationships, especially with divorced people, explaining this by the fact that the wedding in this case can not be. It often happens that under the guise of religious prohibitions, there is an unwillingness to see your partner as he is. By calling him divorced, you can not allow yourself to think that there was another important person in his life earlier. If the real motivations behind these blockages are revealed, it will be easier to open up to this relationship or ... refuse them.

Often, boredom in the bedroom covers up problems in another area. There may be a crisis, betrayal, or stress behind it. Therefore, in order to establish a relationship in bed, you need to start looking for the true causes of dissatisfaction.

Let's talk about it
Monotony in bed can mean that the topic of sex has ceased to be a concern of partners. If a couple makes love intermittently, occasionally (when the children are away) or when both are under the (light) influence of alcohol-the sexual life ceases to develop. Partners should strive to get good sex. This means taking steps to preserve the best of it. Purposefulness, ingenuity, regular display of tenderness, slowness and attentiveness. What happens if you neglect it? The theme is well illustrated by the story of a certain Viola. She is 35 years old, she is a manager. Her dialogue during a consultation with a sex coach:
"The problem with our marriage is that we're tired of sex.
"Who do you mean?" Yourself or your husband?
"I'm bored." I just don't want it.
"Did you want to before?"
"Yes, when we were in love."
"What would you like to do now?"
- I don't know, I never thought about it ... Maybe to keep things the way they were before.
- What situations have you ever worried about?
- When I was just thinking about meeting my future husband.
"Are you excited now?"
"I don't know ...
- What do you dream about?
"Sometimes I think of Robert, a friend I once liked very much.
"Would Robert be more fun?"
- I don't know. I don't know what really fun means.
"Can a decent woman love sex?"
- I don't know. Probably not...

The questions that the sex coach asked Viola during the initial conversation are key to understanding the causes of monotony and stagnation in her erotic life, as they allow you to learn the structure of her own arousal. Each person can experience successive stages of the development of sexual arousal, starting from desire and ending with the occurrence of physiological arousal. Each of them can be an incentive to have sex, the problem is that women do not often recognize this in themselves. They love their partner out of a sense of duty, rarely seek intimacy themselves, and cover all this with the term "boredom", which hides little interest in sex and an inability to awaken desire in themselves.
As it turned out, after the long conversation that followed, Viola never entered the world of mature sexuality – she practiced petting in high school, had a few sexual adventures in college, then she met her husband at work.
When they were in love, everything was easy. After that, they wanted to expand the family, and sex became more of a path than an end in itself, and when children appeared, it completely faded into the background. The truth is that the couple never cared about this area.

Sleeping femininity
Everyone is born sexy. Sex, like speech, is a fundamental human ability. Only here, since childhood, we are stimulated to develop the speech center ... and the sphere of eroticism is very often left out. Many women believe that in a relationship, they should focus on emotions, not on sex. As a result, they often don't know what they care about, what makes them happy, what they want. Therefore, it is important that they try to reveal their sexuality and stop considering sex as a marriage commitment or a romantic dream. Women need to overcome the belief that sex is sinful and dirty, so they will get a whole range of sensations that they did not know about until now.
Women should answer the following questions for themselves: "Do I want to start discovering myself as a sexual being?", " Do I want to know what I care about?", "Do I want to create situations that initiate sex?" and vice versa - "Do I want to learn to say no if I don't want to get close?" An indispensable stage in the maturation of sexuality is the restoration of contact with one's own body. A good way is to exercise. This can be different forms of movement: running, dancing, yoga. Actions that stimulate both the body and the senses. At the same time, a woman can open up to her sensory sensations, stimuli from outside, including reactions to other people, situations, and impressions.
Do not ignore or reject masturbation, because it is the great laboratory of sexuality. This makes it possible to check things that have no place in sex with a partner. Especially when a woman pays great attention to the satisfaction of her partner. Therefore, it is good to read a few books on this topic, if necessary, help yourself with gadgets. However, you should start by focusing on yourself. Accept that the realm of sexuality is still uncharted territory. Only then will the stage of searching for answers to the questions begin.

Boring porn videos
But, not only the mood in bed depends on the woman. And one of the most common male problems in this area today is the passion for pornography. Even if a person is not addicted on a pathological level, and only occasionally visits such sites, he may already have sexual reactions and a way of thinking about sex formatted porn. It will take abstinence to make him realize how much he is formed from what he is looking at.
It's not that he should never watch porn movies again, but he should know that an excess of this type of stimulus has a terrible effect on his sex life. A man needs to know his real sexual reactions. He will be able to see what turns him on in his wife. What he really needs. Thanks to this, he can achieve a lot – he will begin to maintain an erection longer and will be able to make love more consciously.

Sex again
She already knows what she cares about and can take care of herself. And when she hears "no," she doesn't feel rejected, because her needs are met, and rejection is not an excuse, but a message that can be accepted. She may also struggle for space for herself – for example, for the time of abstinence from sex. Thanks to this, she has a chance to meet with herself and free herself from the pressure of marital sex. And this requires maturity and determination in setting boundaries.
He has no problem with pornography and is in contact with his body. He notices the benefits of real sex – more and more time passes from ejaculation to orgasm, and this time is more and more saturated with wonderful stimuli.
If they both try different things and begin to feel that their erotic life brings them satisfaction, then after a few months they can get into such a rhythm that sex, which they previously missed due to fatigue and lack of desire, will be the best end to even a very exhausting and difficult day. Now they can be close to each other, because emotionally they are together, they see each other, and this gives them a boost of energy. They used to say, "No, not today, because I'm falling off my feet," now they say: "Let's do this, because I'm tired and I want to be around." Realizing their sexuality, improving communication, they came to a true intimacy in the relationship. They are no longer a couple bound only by credit, children, and tasks – they maintain an emotional and sexual connection.
If you are satisfied enough with your sex life but want more fireworks, you should try it. Start with simple ideas, such as a massage candle or a shared bath, and gradually introduce new ones. Sex should be considered as a separate entity. Sometimes it is better to leave the washing up or work for later and go to the bedroom together.